My Love Affair with Epsom Salts and Discovering my Inner 65-Year-Old

I used to be one of those cool, careless kids. I ate whatever I wanted, slept as much or as little as I wanted, went on ridiculously late-night road trips, slept in tents and on floors (and loved it), gave little or no thought to diet, exercise, or medication. Yes, I used to be one of those reckless kids, living life with careless ease and little concern for myself.
Then one fateful day that all changed. Suddenly - I ate things and the bitter metallic taste of acid reflux would fill my mouth, dull my senses, and leave me guzzling water and mint tea for the next forty-five minutes. I would sleep on the floor and wake to find knots in all the wrong places, that is, all over my back and neck. I would go for a late-night road trip and arrive at my destination cranky. Then the seemingly impossible happened: I started taking vitamins.
Gone were the days of abandoned youth and careless living. Suddenly I had to buy new mattresses, and pillows, and vitamins. I had to start a new diet, and then change that diet, and then modify that diet. I began to feel exhausted by 10:00pm, and I hated being out of the house past 9pm, because I needed that hour to wind down. And yes, that hour had a routine that I had to keep or else I would toss and turn all night.
That all began two years ago.

 Guys, I'm 23 years old.

My "reckless youth" abandoned me pretty fast.
And then I realized something: I enjoyed going to bed early. I enjoyed eating vegetables, lean meat, and all of that "healthy stuff" I used to sneer at. I didn't like candy and desserts half as much as I liked kale and kimchi. Oh kimchi.
I've been obsessed with kimchi since I got my hands on the recipe a month before my 21st birthday. We've been friends ever since. And I've set a new standard this past week: I made kimchi and granola. Both.
But that isn't even the best part of my week. No, no, the best part was the epsom salts.

Yes, I know what you're thinking right now, because I thought it not so very long ago (two weeks in fact): Epsom salts. That's what my grandma used to recommend all the time. Yuck.
And if your grandmother was anything like my grandma (and mom. And mildly hippie sister) she did. All the time. Every time. For EVERYTHING.
And we laughed it off because nothing could be that good. Could it?

Oh yes, it could.

I've taken up long-distance running, because half-marathons are a bucket of laughs y'all. Actually, it's a personal goal I set for myself a while back: to run a marathon by the time I'm 30. But I have to get past the 5k first.
So I started running. A lot.
My job, as stated before, involves a lot of walking and stair-climbing.
Two weeks into training, my knees and calves hurt.
Like any normal sister would, I took my troubles to my older sister, Anna. She prescribed the one thing I should have seen coming but didn't expect: "Epsom salts."
Then she actually explained why these magical salts are so magical: Magnesium. Apparently magnesium soothes sore muscles and eases the pain.
So I went and bought a giant bag of epsom salts. With that purchase I saw the last of my recklessly youthful ideas crumble to the ground.
And guess what? The salts worked. They actually do help with muscle tension and soreness. I've now used them for my neck, my back, as well as my legs. They are fantastic!
And yes, I am obsessed.

I was talking with my other sister I get all my life advice from, Libby, about the wonderful substance called "epsom salts", and in the midst of our conversation I realized something: All this time I thought I was losing my reckless, invincible youthful side, when what really has happened has been the slow revealing of my inner 65-year-old.

As I looked back on the past two years I realized that coupled with each negative, restrictive experience there has been a pleasant revelation about myself.
Let's look at the timeline:
Dietary restrictions -- Discovered I love rocking chairs. I want one, but I haven't found the perfect one yet. I'm still looking.
Inability to sleep on the floor -- Discovered the wonder of a good night's sleep. I just didn't realize I was missing it until I had to give thought to where I slept.
Hatred for late-night road trips -- Discovered how much I loved simply staying home, reading a book, curled up in my favorite blanket with a cup of tea. Spontaneous weekend trips will never rival the comfort of one's hearth, home, and bookshelf.
All of these things I've discovered I've enjoyed have earned me the title "old lady" from my friends.

I still stay up late, because my job sometimes dictates I do so. I still sleep on the floor sometimes, and I don't have as much trouble with it as I used to (epsom salts, kids, they really work), I will still take late-night road trips (though usually someone else is driving and I end up falling asleep in the passenger seat), and I still fail to faithfully keep every aspect of my diet all the time. But my struggle with each of these things has led me to find a deeper and greater joy in simpler things.
But really, I think the reason we classify these things - epsom salts, early bedtimes,  careful diet - as what 65-year-olds would do is because they are the really good things to do. And the 65-year-olds who do these things have spent a good deal of their lives getting to the point where they realized just how good, healthful, and refreshing such things were. The rest of us are still discovering those things, and we're too young to realize how satisfying and good they really are. Maybe that's the reason why grandmothers keep telling us we need to use epsom salts: because they discovered the salts worked first. Maybe we should spend more time listening to our grandmothers and less time listening to ourselves. Maybe we all need more epsom salts.