I don't struggle financially, but I definitely do not have a massive amount of money to burn. Few people my age and in my place on the career totem pole don't have a lot of extra money. And then something rather painful happened: I wore through my work shoes. I say "painful", because it was, literally, painful.
Suddenly another really big, and rather urgent, financial drain loomed on the immediate horizon: buying shoes.
Now, unless you go to Walmart and buy flimsily constructed shoes from the $30-rack, shoes are expensive. If you walk 5+ miles a day at your job, then you can't get the cheap shoes. Unless you want your knees to hate you for eternity, then you can.
I like my knees too much to let them hate me, so I determined to go to the shoe store at my earliest opportunity, bite the bullet and fork the money over. This last Thursday evening I sat down and crunched some numbers to see what I would have left once I paid for groceries and rent on top of shoes. The prospects looked bleak, but I knew I needed to do something, or I would have to have knee replacements by the time I was thirty.
Before you guys think I'm over-exaggerating the state of my shoes, let me explain: I have had these shoes for close to 2 years. I have had my current job for ten months, and for ten hours every day, four days a week, I have walked all over the hospital. I am pretty sure I walk seven miles on average at work - rough guesstimate, I really have no idea how far. But for simplicity's sake, let's say 7 miles a day. If my calculations are correct (which is a very big if), I have walked 1120 miles over the past 10 months, and that doesn't count all of the walking I do to and from work, and in the grocery store after work, etc.
You get the point; it's a really really big number.
The soles of my shoes were really really thin, and the canvas on top was tearing.
I sat running my fingers through my hair, attempting to work through this problem without going bald. Finally I sat back and did the only sensible thing I'd done all evening: I prayed. Lord, you know my finances. So please take care of me and don't let me worry too much over this. I know you'll provide because you always have.
Then I got up and went back to work.
Friday evening I headed over to my sister, Anna's, with my sister Dani. We sat around chatting as dinner was cooking, and I mentioned needing new shoes, and how I was going to have to go get some the next evening.
Anna had shoes. She had bought them for work, gotten married, had kids, and now could no longer fit them. They were my size, not really worn at all; for some reason she still had them, and she gave them to me. Just like that the prayer was answered. And no money was spent. Here I was expecting God to give me extra funds to cover the expense, to fill in the loss that I sustained. But He didn't let me get to the part where loss is mentioned. He gave me shoes with no expense to myself. He also gave me something greater: People who loved me enough to hear a need in what I said and meet the need. Not because they felt obligated to, but because they cared. For me.
I came away that night doubly blessed, and somewhat stunned, trying to process the vast amount of grace I had received that night.
In Matthew 6 Jesus says, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
God literally clothed me that day; he gave me a pair of shoes. Seemingly inconsequential, I know, but the insignificance of the act makes it that much more amazing. God cared enough to give me, little tiny me rattling around in my very scatter-brained existence, a pair of shoes. Somehow, giving me a pair of shoes fit into his grand scheme of redeeming the world (and me!).
He cares that much. We don't serve a little God; we serve a great, all-powerful, all-knowing God, who is powerful enough to bend low and put shoes on our feet, clothes on our backs, and food on our table. He cares, not only for our great spiritual need, but for our little needs and concerns as well. And that is comforting.
I like my knees too much to let them hate me, so I determined to go to the shoe store at my earliest opportunity, bite the bullet and fork the money over. This last Thursday evening I sat down and crunched some numbers to see what I would have left once I paid for groceries and rent on top of shoes. The prospects looked bleak, but I knew I needed to do something, or I would have to have knee replacements by the time I was thirty.
Before you guys think I'm over-exaggerating the state of my shoes, let me explain: I have had these shoes for close to 2 years. I have had my current job for ten months, and for ten hours every day, four days a week, I have walked all over the hospital. I am pretty sure I walk seven miles on average at work - rough guesstimate, I really have no idea how far. But for simplicity's sake, let's say 7 miles a day. If my calculations are correct (which is a very big if), I have walked 1120 miles over the past 10 months, and that doesn't count all of the walking I do to and from work, and in the grocery store after work, etc.
You get the point; it's a really really big number.
The soles of my shoes were really really thin, and the canvas on top was tearing.
I sat running my fingers through my hair, attempting to work through this problem without going bald. Finally I sat back and did the only sensible thing I'd done all evening: I prayed. Lord, you know my finances. So please take care of me and don't let me worry too much over this. I know you'll provide because you always have.
Then I got up and went back to work.
Friday evening I headed over to my sister, Anna's, with my sister Dani. We sat around chatting as dinner was cooking, and I mentioned needing new shoes, and how I was going to have to go get some the next evening.
Anna had shoes. She had bought them for work, gotten married, had kids, and now could no longer fit them. They were my size, not really worn at all; for some reason she still had them, and she gave them to me. Just like that the prayer was answered. And no money was spent. Here I was expecting God to give me extra funds to cover the expense, to fill in the loss that I sustained. But He didn't let me get to the part where loss is mentioned. He gave me shoes with no expense to myself. He also gave me something greater: People who loved me enough to hear a need in what I said and meet the need. Not because they felt obligated to, but because they cared. For me.
I came away that night doubly blessed, and somewhat stunned, trying to process the vast amount of grace I had received that night.
In Matthew 6 Jesus says, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
God literally clothed me that day; he gave me a pair of shoes. Seemingly inconsequential, I know, but the insignificance of the act makes it that much more amazing. God cared enough to give me, little tiny me rattling around in my very scatter-brained existence, a pair of shoes. Somehow, giving me a pair of shoes fit into his grand scheme of redeeming the world (and me!).
He cares that much. We don't serve a little God; we serve a great, all-powerful, all-knowing God, who is powerful enough to bend low and put shoes on our feet, clothes on our backs, and food on our table. He cares, not only for our great spiritual need, but for our little needs and concerns as well. And that is comforting.
I literally have that verse - "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" - written on a piece of paper and taped to my wall. Because life is expensive and hard and I need that reminder that he knows all my needs and will care for me. Thank you for sharing this. <3
ReplyDeleteJenny, you are so very welcome! I had it taped to my steering wheel for months (before it fell off), and still have it triple-underlined in my Bible. I need daily reminders of this fact - that He really does take care of me. And thank you, because it is always encouraging to know that I'm not alone in needing these reminders. <3
DeleteI had a similar experience when my car was totaled. SO thankful we can cast our cares on him.
ReplyDeleteMarie, amen! And I would love to hear your story if you are willing to share it. It is such an encouragement to hear the testimonies of others about His provision. We serve an incredibly great God!
Delete