It Isn't Always Easy...

It has been 60 days since Jonah and I made vows and entered the covenant of marriage. These two months have flown by, but not for the romantic reasons so many people (myself included) would like to believe.

Marriage isn't easy, because life isn't easy. When Jonah and I made those promises two months ago, we promised to join our lives together. Our lives, already spotted with trouble and heartache, became one.

The struggle that is life hasn't gone away just because we're now living together in covenant. Rather, those struggles have become all the more poignant as we deal with each other's sin on top of the troubles in life. We're also still fighting our own personal sins. We weren't magically sanctified when we said "I do." That process is an ongoing one that doesn't end until we die.

I spoke with someone the other day who had been married for several years already. He made the comment that statistically couples struggle in their first or third years of marriage. Jonah and I can definitely testify to the struggle that we have undergone just within the first two months. Most of these struggles have been external - losing our pastor and trying to find a new one, Jonah switching jobs, trying to schedule time for studies and for time together, trying to balance finances. The list is long, and with each struggle we discover the depths of our sinfulness and selfishness.

God never promised us an easy life together; He did promise a life that would make us holy. And while I look over the past two months, and I still don't understand the purpose of many of the struggles we've faced or are facing, I can trust in the sovereignty of God. I trust that He who has begun a good work in us will see it to completion; that we are traveling the road to holiness, and that we will one day be perfectly renewed in the image of Christ. Each time we face our sin and repent, we become more like Christ. Each time we are forced to trust Him and not ourselves, we become more like Christ. This is the good work God promised: death to our old selves and a life lived in Christ.

I do not know what the next six, or even two, months have in store for us, but I trust in God's faithfulness in the midst of our struggles. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. " (Hebrews 12:11)

An Insatiable Curiosity

I cannot read one book at a time. I have tried countless times to be able to do it, and each attempt ends with half a dozen unfinished books. It is quite an intense juggling act to make time for all of the books I'm reading at a given time.

I am sure I am not the only one out there who has struggled with the inability to read books one at a time instead of all at once. I used to wonder if I had an odd form of ADD or some undiscovered mental disorder.

I know now it is none of these. You see, I've spent my entire life asking why? about everything. I struggled with math because the classes I took never explained why and I hated not knowing. I've always loved words and the ability to put them together to form sentences, to communicate emotions and experiences, because with these words you could explain why. I love history because it is the study of why - Why did the Southern states secede from the North? Why did Napoleon try to invade Russia? Why did England declare war on Nazi Germany? Why?

With all of these questions -why- swirling through my head, you can understand my reaction to a bookcase full of books I have yet to read. You can see how I would struggle to read only one book on one subject, when there are two others on (different) subjects/events I've always wanted to study. This ravenous desire to understand the why's of the world are the reason I can't read less than three books at a time.

I'm not satisfied with what I know; I don't know enough. And the best way I learn is by reading. And maybe by the end of my life I'll have read enough to satisfy my insatiable curiosity, but I doubt it. I'll always be reading, I'll always be learning, and I'll always love it. ...And I will always struggle to finish books in a timely manner (because who can when they're reading six at a time?).


Am I the only one who struggles with reading only one book at a time? Do any of you, the few readers I have, pick up multiple books at a time? How long does it usually take you to finish all of them? I am really curious to know.